My book is out!! (And so is a new song about friendship!)

Is there a better way to celebrate Galentine's Day?

My book, The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center, is finally out in the world!! It tells the stories of people who have a friendship that’s close enough to be a life partnership and, through them, questions our deep-seated assumptions about love, relationships and family. These friends offer a new, more expansive vision for what a connected life looks like—whether or not you pursue a friendship as committed as theirs. I spent longer working on this book than I spent attending college, and I probably learned and grew just as much in the process.

You can get The Other Significant Others at Bookshop.org, Barnes & Noble, Amazon or your favorite indie. If you’d like nothing more than to hear me talk at you for 9 hours, there’s an audiobook for that. You can support an indie bookstore by ordering it through Libro.fm.

McNally Jackson bookstore in New York had me sign some copies

If you want to get a taste of the book before diving in, you have no shortage of options. Here are a few:

• A deep-dive conversation with Ezra Klein, who 1000% got the book and everything I was trying to do with it. (At the end, he said The Other Significant Others is a book he “loved and recommends to everybody.”)

• A conversation about the book on NPR’s Up First, which includes audio of some of my interviewees. There’s a piece of tape in the episode that still gets me choked up, even though I’ve heard it countless times before.

• An excerpt in The Atlantic about friends who care for each other in old age.

• An op-ed in the Washington Post about how marriage has a monopoly on legal rights and why that’s a problem.

And there’s more coming out in the next few days, including an excerpt in TIME about male friendships and an interview with Hanna Rosin, the host of The Atlantic’s podcast Radio Atlantic. Clearly, we had a blast during the conversation.

If you too want to laugh with me in person, join me at one of my book events (and bring a pal along!) I have events planned in DC (tonight! + there’s a virtual option), Brooklyn, San Francisco, Evanston, IL, Denver, Seattle, Cambridge, MA and Baltimore. You can support the indie stores that are hosting the events by ordering from them.

Look, I’m a not-famous first-time author and could use all the help possible in getting people to read the book. If you’re excited about deep friendships or are worried about the loneliness epidemic or think family isn’t only about blood, here are a few things you can do:

• Encourage a couple of friends/relatives/coworkers to get the book: Personal recommendations are powerful. (Maybe even buy it as a Galentine’s/Valentine’s Day gift??)

• Review the book on Amazon or Goodreads: A book simply looks more legit when it has a lot of reviews. Even a one-sentence review would be great. 

• Post about the book on social media/tell your best influencer friend about it: Just getting people familiar with the book cover and title might make them take a second look the next time they wander through a bookstore.

• Organize a book club: People who read advance copies told me that the book gave them so much fodder for conversation with friends, romantic partners and family. There are discussion questions here to help guide the conversation.

Okay okay. Now I can slough the self-promotion grime off me and do my favorite thing, which is brag about my friends! My enormously talented, generous friends Lisa Einstein and Wren Elhai wrote a fantastic song based on my book called “Dear Friend.”

They enlisted other friends (including a couple of world-class musicians) to sing backup, play instruments, and produce the song. “Dear Friend” is an anthem for friendship—we certainly could use more songs about platonic love—and it will almost inevitably get stuck in your head. Please listen to and share their gorgeous song with the friends in your lives. More info about the making of the song is here.

My friends recording “Dear Friend.”

I can’t wait for you to read The Other Significant Others.

Happy Galentine’s/Palentine’s Day y’all. 💕